The Power of Presence in Performance, Releasing Stuck Trauma
This past weekend, I had a big performance. As I rosined up my bow, preparing to pick up my fiddle, I noticed the jittery pre-show anticipation in my body. Our set-up had taken a little bit longer than usual, and we were strapped for time. We were supposed to start playing in five minutes. As I was scrambling to get my gear in the right order and position, it was impossible to think about the songs ahead. Eventually, I was able to breathe slowly and find my way into creative flow as we started playing. Imagine adding an unprocessed traumatic memory of tripping and falling off the stage or being told I wasn’t a “good enough” singer (both have happened). With the already distracting environment of performance, it is essential to process our trauma, performance related and otherwise. It is then that we can step into the true presence of our art.
The Gold of the Present Moment
Have you ever heard about someone with “stage presence?” This person embodies the space that they exist in as they speak or sing or dance or run, etc. This act of melding completely into the craft or art we are performing is when we have the true moments of alignment with our souls. We release anxiety, worry and scattered attention to hone in on the joy of doing what we are meant to do. The people around us feel that alignment in themselves just because they are witnessing our art.
The advice to “be present” might seem pretty obvious, but it’s not always easy to just “get into the present moment.” When we are crippled with anxiety it is nearly impossible to be present, thoughts taking over our minds that won’t allow us to live in this moment. Listening to the world around us happening now is necessary to live our lives in the present, releasing thoughts about the future or ruminations of the past.
Trauma Gets Stuck in Our Body
So many of us don’t even know when we have stuck trauma in our body, but there are certain patterns that we can look for to notice if traumatic memories have caused somatic (body-based) “stuckness.” Trauma often transforms into physical symptoms such as headaches, GI issues and chronic pain. The body holds onto tension from traumatic events as a protective mechanism, particularly in the neck, jaw, and shoulders. We also hold onto tension in our diaphragm, which makes it really hard to sing or speak in our most powerful and truest voice. As a therapist, I work with somatic trauma processing techniques to clear away any hidden spaces of tension that can be linked to our past experiences. When our body is experiencing tension and other symptoms linked to the past, it becomes difficult to experience the presence we are striving to embody in performance.
Negative Beliefs Affect Our Presence in Performance
Negative beliefs that stem from upsetting or traumatic experiences can block us from being present. For example, we might have picked up the belief that “we are worthy as long as we achieve.” from the repeated experience of only getting attention from our caregivers when we achieved something. Now the looming need to achieve has the possibility and probability of effecting that presentation we are giving in front of the high powered executives we are asking to fund our idea. When we give ourselves the time and space to unwind our negative, trauma-influenced beliefs and choose new ones, performance and pressure can turn from anxiety to excitement.
Anxiety to Excitement, Step into Your Presence
There is a thin line between anxiety and excitement. Our body reacts in a very similar way to anxiety and excitement: butterflies in the stomach, faster breathing, sweaty palms, a feeling of electricity. When we process our past traumas, small or large, subtle or overt, we free up space to alchemize our anxious energy to excitement. I love this work of freeing up our past so we can enjoy what we were born to do, and I would love to share this with you. Visit my trauma therapy page to find out more.